Today was Memorial Day. It wasn't until two men came in uniform to IHOP standing tall and proud of who they were did I feel ashamed to be looking foward to the Memorial Day sale. It's days like there where we can truly honor those who keeps us safe, and those who love strangers enough to risk their life for them. It's them who truly deserve to be honored on this day, not the big shots at at Macy's reducing their distressed jeans by 15 %, or the lovely steaks we've got defrosting, ready to be barbequed.
America has lost it's spirit. We've lost the humanity and the love that the country was built upon. Christmas is now not a holiday celebrating the birth of the saviour, Jesus Christ, or even a celebration of love, forgiveness and redemption. Rather, it has become a hallmark holiday hawking goods to us. Stores benefit from the sales extenuously and make money off of something that shouldn't be happening. I love gifts as much as anyone, but are they really nessecary? Love doesn't not depend on how much mom can spend on a gift. Jill's dad doesn't love her more than yours loves you because she got an iPod touch and you got a sweater.
We as Americans put too much emphasis on the material goods of holidays. Christmas...presents, Santa Claus. Thanksgiving...football and the inflation of a bunch of gobbly birds. Valentine's Day...bad candy and annoying cards.
So, should America take a step back, relax, and think of the true situations that require celebration? Should we make the country remember our roots, and shower those who deserve love?
All I know is that I felt humbled and proud to be in the presence of one that has fought for me personally. Thank you.
Monday, May 31, 2010
Love Never Dies Part Two
So, the backstory is, I wrote an incredibly long review, then accidentally refreshed the page, and it was gone. Poof. So, if I sound extremely cynical and annoyed, you know why. Actually, I'll just blame Raoul.
***
Only For You: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZPNNY2DEUyM&feature=related
Can it get any worse? The American Simpletons are still screeching and trying to get a peek inside anything, trash cans, hot dog carts, vending machines...
Oh. Vending machines weren't invented then. I'm so sorry, it's just that with the whole time warp thing, I thought maybe we'd...no?
Okay.
I wish for peace, I wish for salvation, I wish for the soothing melodies of the Phantom, or the loving refrains from Raoul, I wish for...the incredibly tan legs of Meg Giry?
That's right. Meg Giry pops on stage wearing nothing more than a bustier and some sort of showgirl hat. Gone are the ballet slippers and smile, replacing them are cold calculating eyes and...well...I guess nothing's replacing the ballet costume as she's practically naked. Careful Meg. You'll give Hitler a heart at--oh, we're not in 1942? I'm sorry, I thought we were skipp--
Fine, I'll stop that now.
So, as it turns out, Phantom has created a huge freak show on Coney Island, basically, he's the dictator, and Meg is the 'OOH LA LA GIRL!' Whatever the hell that is. Meg's either madly in love, infatuated, brainwashed, or overly caffinated and bounces around "wound up tighter than a spring" as shrilly, unimportant back-up dancers reassure her that the Phantom will love her.
There are so many things wrong with that paragraph. The song's not horrid, given the context. We're on Coney Island, she's pleasing Americans, fresh from the radical ideas of the reforms going on, it's summer, people are happy, it's not a bad song.
Yet, it's part of Phantom of the Opera. *slinks further into hidey hole*
Why hello Mr. Mouse, how are you today?
Meg performs some sort of burlesque thing for the cheering, hot dog eating crowd and promises three months of fantastic fun, with five performances daily by "THE OOH LA LA GIRL!" Five performances daily. The Phantom does care so much about her voice...
By the way, Summer Strallen (Meg) has a lovely, unique voice that's so much stronger than the wispy mutterings of Jennifer Ellis in the 2004 Movie. It's throaty, it's energetic, sort of like Idina and Kristin's voices had a love child.
Okay, so I won't go that far.
So, Mme Giry, whom I shall now call Mama G, is proud of Meg, "not just as your mother, but as your producer". I'm so certain that when I've got a daughter stripping her way around town, I'll be sitting in the audience dabbing my happy tears and tossing roses. Anyways, some old geezer names Mr. Thompson is interested in her, but she's just got eyes for the Phantom.
I'm seriously hypervenilating from good music deprivation now.
And then...the happy band music turns into solemn, beautiful orchestral music, "The Aerie" which sounds as if it could have fit into the original seamlessly. THAT'S what it should be, romantic, haunting...
The Aerie: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e8j7oW1vHow&NR=1
I'm considering dancing now, and then I hear..."TEN LONG YEARS! LIVING A MERE FACADE OF LIFE. TEN LONG YEARS. WASTING MY TIME ON SMOKE AND NOISE, IN MY MIND, I HEAR MELODIES AND PURE AND UNEARTHLY BUT I FIND I CAN'T GIVE THEM A VOICE WITHOUT YOU".
Aw, thanks Emo-Incredibly Sexy-Mixed Race-Ramin Karimloo-Young Phantom! I'm so glad that you couldn't compose with me, it makes me fee--
"My Christine, my Christine, lost and gone, lost and gone."
Well, no need to be harsh. All I wanted was your love. Plus, didn't she kind of offer to stay with you? And you know...this happened? "GO NOW! GO NOW AND LEAVE ME!" Um...no? Okay. Who says you've been wasting your time? Look at that magnificent auto-bot Christine you built! Lovely! Bravo! Brava!
Til I Hear You Sing: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=afNSW_3G05k&NR=1
My life is over, and then...IT COMES. THE SONG.
"Night steals in, pacing the floor. The moments creep yet I can't bear to sleep, til I hear you sing." It's emotional, it's raw, it's mesmerizing, it's PHANTOM!.
When he begins to belt towards the end, everything ends, and it's just his voice. Ramin Karimloo's got the BEST voice for a Phantom I've ever heard, Michael Crawford aside. If MC is God, then Ramin is John the Baptist. Seriously. So I'm now drooling in a melty mess from the amazingness, and then...the devil comes bursting in yapping about her ten second performance.
"Tell me did you watch?! Tell me if you saw?!" She's like an overeager puppy, or the class teacher pet, freaking about everything, improvements, complications, praise, permission to take her clothes off.
Giry Confronts the Phantom: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b9REjis6vnA
Even Mama G can't take no more, and tells her daughter to fly her little bootay outta here. No, actually, she flips and insults Meg and rants and did I mention insult? Until the Phantom steps in with a feeble, "Madame, you're forgettig yorself," to which she responds with "CHRISTINE! CHRISTINE!" and Meg leaves.
Now, this is one of my favorite parts of the whole entire musical, since when she's ranting, she grabs auto-Daae's arm, and IT FALLS OFF! I don't know why it's so hilarious, but I didn't stop laughing. Then Mama G goes into an informative rant. Once more. Is the woman menopausal or something? Maybe she should wear a few more colors. Anyways, it turns out after Christine chose Raoul for "his beauty and youth" (What beauty? Where?) Meg and Mama G smuggled the Phantom to NY, where he became a circus freak again o.O until they had enough money to get Phantasma.
Then she starts dissing him, until two minutes later, the Phantom kicks her out. Um, even I wouldn't have taken that from her, and he did?!
Oh...anyways, the Phantom gets all self pitying and I get all annoyed, until he reprises THAT SONG and makes me melt all over again. Not to mention him belting 'MY SWEET CHRISTINE" with the most passion I have ever heard in anyone's voice.
And then... And come what may, I swear somehow, someway....I WILL HEAR YOU SING, ONCE MORE!
*cue Jessica's death*
THREE MONTHS LATER
Christine Disembarks: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=unmrb2OjZ2E&NR=1 Oh look, the Titanic's here. Or something other big ship. We see happy typical American yankee doodle music, lots of name dropping (Colonel Astor, Oscar Hammerstein) and then...the music swells, the birds chirp, and a big purple eggplant comes gliding down the ramp followed by an extremely grumpy man and a a blonde kid trying to be a sailor.
The eggplant, aka Christine in a hideous putrid purple dress, stands and looks pretty as the crowd jostles for her attention.
Raoul's had enough of this. He begins bugging everyone, "Her name's Madame de Chagny, now step aside, step aside, no pictures of my wife, no pictures of the boy!" The boy's looking around for...God knows what. Christine's got a lovely smile. Sierra Boggess is really gorgeous, by the way.
Raoul's still bugging everyone, and the reporters, in true American fashion, urge him on. It turns out that Raoul has lost all his fortune in a horrible accident involving him, alcohol, and Vegas style gambling. What's that? Raoul, the sweet man who wanted to go anywhere Christine went, and all he asked for was love, has a gambling problem?! Ladies and gentlemen, our antagonist has been discovered! Of course, he had always been my antagonist, but...I guess some of you liked him? Is Christine even alive over there?
Many hints are dropped about Mr. Y, the dictator of Coney Island, yet Christine's asleep and Raoul's too busy looking for the nearest AA meeting. That's right. Our knight in lanky hair is also an alcoholic. *sigh* The joy of married life...
The Arrival of the Trio: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T4aO8pVv94Y&NR=1
Anyways, he's now ranting (doesn't his jaw hurt?) about not being greeted by Mr. Y. So, three freaks come. Miss Fleck (the unfortunate Niahm Perry), Doctor Gangle, and THE MIGHTY SQUELCH!! *rewinds* THE MIGHTY SQUELCH! *rewind* THE MIGHTY SQUELCH!
Gone are Firmin, Andre, Carlotta and Piangi. Instead, we have Miss A, Doctor B and THE MIGHTY SQUELCH!! They sing some rock thing, freak out the audience, and asks the three de Chagnys to get in the mechanical carriage.
They leave with Harry, Hermione and THE MIGHTY SQUELCH! Raoul throws a fit. Gustave (the son) is all excited. Christine has some lovely looking teeth. They arrive. Niamh's voice is completely twisted beyond recognition, yet is still one of the best in the show, as of now. Raoul flips out. Gustave's so happy, he's wishing to be a freak. Apparently, he dreams of freaks. Uh...COUNSELOR! HELP THIS BOY! The reporters are all ticked that Christine didn't sing for them. Excuse you, but can't you see she was too busy doing something more important than sing? I for one enjoyed her smiling.
What a Dreadful Town! : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4wO88Km6wgQ&feature=related
Raoul throws another tantrum at the hotel, yells at Christine, refuses to play with Gustave, yells some more, rants some more, decides to go drinking.
Let me just say this about Raoul (Joseph Millson). He brings so much into this new character, and yet, still makes you sympathetic. You can truly see the hurt, the abandonment, the shame in his acting, and can truly feel sorry for him, no matter how despicable he is. Anyways, Gustave whines about Raoul not loving him.
Look With Your Heart: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x8S4Ba9EaMc&NR=1
Christine, SINGS! We hear a cute little ditty about "Look with your heart, and not with your eyes." What does that tell us? Beauty is not skin deep? Everyone has a beautiful soul? Who does that remind us of, hmm?!
Anyways, Gustave's got a lovely voice, one of the best boy sopranos I've ever heard. It's SO good, that I actually re listened to this song. Sierra's got a wonderful voice too, a softer, more lyrical Christine that doesn't over do the vibrato.
Gustave is 10. Christine, do not hug your child to you like you are breast feeding him. He is 10. I was 5 ft tall when I was 10, as was my brother. We would have hit the fan if my mom had held us like that. Goosey goes to bed, and the music box begins to play...THE POINT OF NO RETURN!!! AHH! HE'S HERE!!! (in a big puff of smoke). Suppose Gustave had allergies?
***
The next update's going to have the reconciliation of the Phantom and Christine, some extremely suggestive music, and some interesting...dear old friends. Until later...*runs away to find the emo Phantom and love him forever*
***
Only For You: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZPNNY2DEUyM&feature=related
Can it get any worse? The American Simpletons are still screeching and trying to get a peek inside anything, trash cans, hot dog carts, vending machines...
Oh. Vending machines weren't invented then. I'm so sorry, it's just that with the whole time warp thing, I thought maybe we'd...no?
Okay.
I wish for peace, I wish for salvation, I wish for the soothing melodies of the Phantom, or the loving refrains from Raoul, I wish for...the incredibly tan legs of Meg Giry?
That's right. Meg Giry pops on stage wearing nothing more than a bustier and some sort of showgirl hat. Gone are the ballet slippers and smile, replacing them are cold calculating eyes and...well...I guess nothing's replacing the ballet costume as she's practically naked. Careful Meg. You'll give Hitler a heart at--oh, we're not in 1942? I'm sorry, I thought we were skipp--
Fine, I'll stop that now.
So, as it turns out, Phantom has created a huge freak show on Coney Island, basically, he's the dictator, and Meg is the 'OOH LA LA GIRL!' Whatever the hell that is. Meg's either madly in love, infatuated, brainwashed, or overly caffinated and bounces around "wound up tighter than a spring" as shrilly, unimportant back-up dancers reassure her that the Phantom will love her.
There are so many things wrong with that paragraph. The song's not horrid, given the context. We're on Coney Island, she's pleasing Americans, fresh from the radical ideas of the reforms going on, it's summer, people are happy, it's not a bad song.
Yet, it's part of Phantom of the Opera. *slinks further into hidey hole*
Why hello Mr. Mouse, how are you today?
Meg performs some sort of burlesque thing for the cheering, hot dog eating crowd and promises three months of fantastic fun, with five performances daily by "THE OOH LA LA GIRL!" Five performances daily. The Phantom does care so much about her voice...
By the way, Summer Strallen (Meg) has a lovely, unique voice that's so much stronger than the wispy mutterings of Jennifer Ellis in the 2004 Movie. It's throaty, it's energetic, sort of like Idina and Kristin's voices had a love child.
Okay, so I won't go that far.
So, Mme Giry, whom I shall now call Mama G, is proud of Meg, "not just as your mother, but as your producer". I'm so certain that when I've got a daughter stripping her way around town, I'll be sitting in the audience dabbing my happy tears and tossing roses. Anyways, some old geezer names Mr. Thompson is interested in her, but she's just got eyes for the Phantom.
I'm seriously hypervenilating from good music deprivation now.
And then...the happy band music turns into solemn, beautiful orchestral music, "The Aerie" which sounds as if it could have fit into the original seamlessly. THAT'S what it should be, romantic, haunting...
The Aerie: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e8j7oW1vHow&NR=1
I'm considering dancing now, and then I hear..."TEN LONG YEARS! LIVING A MERE FACADE OF LIFE. TEN LONG YEARS. WASTING MY TIME ON SMOKE AND NOISE, IN MY MIND, I HEAR MELODIES AND PURE AND UNEARTHLY BUT I FIND I CAN'T GIVE THEM A VOICE WITHOUT YOU".
Aw, thanks Emo-Incredibly Sexy-Mixed Race-Ramin Karimloo-Young Phantom! I'm so glad that you couldn't compose with me, it makes me fee--
"My Christine, my Christine, lost and gone, lost and gone."
Well, no need to be harsh. All I wanted was your love. Plus, didn't she kind of offer to stay with you? And you know...this happened? "GO NOW! GO NOW AND LEAVE ME!" Um...no? Okay. Who says you've been wasting your time? Look at that magnificent auto-bot Christine you built! Lovely! Bravo! Brava!
Til I Hear You Sing: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=afNSW_3G05k&NR=1
My life is over, and then...IT COMES. THE SONG.
"Night steals in, pacing the floor. The moments creep yet I can't bear to sleep, til I hear you sing." It's emotional, it's raw, it's mesmerizing, it's PHANTOM!.
When he begins to belt towards the end, everything ends, and it's just his voice. Ramin Karimloo's got the BEST voice for a Phantom I've ever heard, Michael Crawford aside. If MC is God, then Ramin is John the Baptist. Seriously. So I'm now drooling in a melty mess from the amazingness, and then...the devil comes bursting in yapping about her ten second performance.
"Tell me did you watch?! Tell me if you saw?!" She's like an overeager puppy, or the class teacher pet, freaking about everything, improvements, complications, praise, permission to take her clothes off.
Giry Confronts the Phantom: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b9REjis6vnA
Even Mama G can't take no more, and tells her daughter to fly her little bootay outta here. No, actually, she flips and insults Meg and rants and did I mention insult? Until the Phantom steps in with a feeble, "Madame, you're forgettig yorself," to which she responds with "CHRISTINE! CHRISTINE!" and Meg leaves.
Now, this is one of my favorite parts of the whole entire musical, since when she's ranting, she grabs auto-Daae's arm, and IT FALLS OFF! I don't know why it's so hilarious, but I didn't stop laughing. Then Mama G goes into an informative rant. Once more. Is the woman menopausal or something? Maybe she should wear a few more colors. Anyways, it turns out after Christine chose Raoul for "his beauty and youth" (What beauty? Where?) Meg and Mama G smuggled the Phantom to NY, where he became a circus freak again o.O until they had enough money to get Phantasma.
Then she starts dissing him, until two minutes later, the Phantom kicks her out. Um, even I wouldn't have taken that from her, and he did?!
Oh...anyways, the Phantom gets all self pitying and I get all annoyed, until he reprises THAT SONG and makes me melt all over again. Not to mention him belting 'MY SWEET CHRISTINE" with the most passion I have ever heard in anyone's voice.
And then... And come what may, I swear somehow, someway....I WILL HEAR YOU SING, ONCE MORE!
*cue Jessica's death*
THREE MONTHS LATER
Christine Disembarks: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=unmrb2OjZ2E&NR=1 Oh look, the Titanic's here. Or something other big ship. We see happy typical American yankee doodle music, lots of name dropping (Colonel Astor, Oscar Hammerstein) and then...the music swells, the birds chirp, and a big purple eggplant comes gliding down the ramp followed by an extremely grumpy man and a a blonde kid trying to be a sailor.
The eggplant, aka Christine in a hideous putrid purple dress, stands and looks pretty as the crowd jostles for her attention.
Raoul's had enough of this. He begins bugging everyone, "Her name's Madame de Chagny, now step aside, step aside, no pictures of my wife, no pictures of the boy!" The boy's looking around for...God knows what. Christine's got a lovely smile. Sierra Boggess is really gorgeous, by the way.
Raoul's still bugging everyone, and the reporters, in true American fashion, urge him on. It turns out that Raoul has lost all his fortune in a horrible accident involving him, alcohol, and Vegas style gambling. What's that? Raoul, the sweet man who wanted to go anywhere Christine went, and all he asked for was love, has a gambling problem?! Ladies and gentlemen, our antagonist has been discovered! Of course, he had always been my antagonist, but...I guess some of you liked him? Is Christine even alive over there?
Many hints are dropped about Mr. Y, the dictator of Coney Island, yet Christine's asleep and Raoul's too busy looking for the nearest AA meeting. That's right. Our knight in lanky hair is also an alcoholic. *sigh* The joy of married life...
The Arrival of the Trio: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T4aO8pVv94Y&NR=1
Anyways, he's now ranting (doesn't his jaw hurt?) about not being greeted by Mr. Y. So, three freaks come. Miss Fleck (the unfortunate Niahm Perry), Doctor Gangle, and THE MIGHTY SQUELCH!! *rewinds* THE MIGHTY SQUELCH! *rewind* THE MIGHTY SQUELCH!
Gone are Firmin, Andre, Carlotta and Piangi. Instead, we have Miss A, Doctor B and THE MIGHTY SQUELCH!! They sing some rock thing, freak out the audience, and asks the three de Chagnys to get in the mechanical carriage.
They leave with Harry, Hermione and THE MIGHTY SQUELCH! Raoul throws a fit. Gustave (the son) is all excited. Christine has some lovely looking teeth. They arrive. Niamh's voice is completely twisted beyond recognition, yet is still one of the best in the show, as of now. Raoul flips out. Gustave's so happy, he's wishing to be a freak. Apparently, he dreams of freaks. Uh...COUNSELOR! HELP THIS BOY! The reporters are all ticked that Christine didn't sing for them. Excuse you, but can't you see she was too busy doing something more important than sing? I for one enjoyed her smiling.
What a Dreadful Town! : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4wO88Km6wgQ&feature=related
Raoul throws another tantrum at the hotel, yells at Christine, refuses to play with Gustave, yells some more, rants some more, decides to go drinking.
Let me just say this about Raoul (Joseph Millson). He brings so much into this new character, and yet, still makes you sympathetic. You can truly see the hurt, the abandonment, the shame in his acting, and can truly feel sorry for him, no matter how despicable he is. Anyways, Gustave whines about Raoul not loving him.
Look With Your Heart: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x8S4Ba9EaMc&NR=1
Christine, SINGS! We hear a cute little ditty about "Look with your heart, and not with your eyes." What does that tell us? Beauty is not skin deep? Everyone has a beautiful soul? Who does that remind us of, hmm?!
Anyways, Gustave's got a lovely voice, one of the best boy sopranos I've ever heard. It's SO good, that I actually re listened to this song. Sierra's got a wonderful voice too, a softer, more lyrical Christine that doesn't over do the vibrato.
Gustave is 10. Christine, do not hug your child to you like you are breast feeding him. He is 10. I was 5 ft tall when I was 10, as was my brother. We would have hit the fan if my mom had held us like that. Goosey goes to bed, and the music box begins to play...THE POINT OF NO RETURN!!! AHH! HE'S HERE!!! (in a big puff of smoke). Suppose Gustave had allergies?
***
The next update's going to have the reconciliation of the Phantom and Christine, some extremely suggestive music, and some interesting...dear old friends. Until later...*runs away to find the emo Phantom and love him forever*
Love Never Dies Review Part One
I've recently come to a revelation. I like watching movies, reading books, listening to albums...and then I become obsessed and verbally review said entertainment outlet to anyone and everyone who I lay eyes on. That will not change, but I have decided to vent into a more healthy outlet instead that possibly won't get my head bitten off by people. Plus, it's genuinely something I love to do and I hope to make a part-time career, or even just a hobby out of it in later years.
So...here we go. LOVE NEVER DIES, the extremely controversial and highly disputed sequel to Andrew Lloyd Webber's Phantom of the Opera. Which will never, ever, ever get a review as there is no words to describe POTO. There is just a *thud*, and after that, there is a *runs off quickly to piano to pretend to be Christine Daae. Or...the Phantom*.
Anyways... Disclaimer: I have not watched it in its whole. I have seen bits and pieces from the proshot, and chunks from illegal recordings (shh) and...other...stuff. I also have the whole album. It looks as though Sir Andy hates listening to people talk...which I must admit gets grating sometimes, and just has everyone singing everything. It doesn't matter if you're talking, singing, laughing, crying, peeing, sleeping, dancing, dying, you're just going to sing. But then again, they all sound the same when they sing. I mean...Mme Giry is the only one with a French accent...Christine's got an American accents...and Lord knows what accent the Phantom's got. Some sort of Canadian-Iranian-English-American-French thing going on. I recommend he adds some Chinese in there, to make the grandparents happy. My grandparents. Not his.
Anyways, the The show opens with an extremely depressed Madame Giry in pretty much black and white--as black and white as you can get onstage--strolling along a depressed deserted amusement part, talking depressedly about the depressing things that have befallen the depressed ruins she now depressedly stands in front of. And...we are off to a happy start! Everyone sing with me! If you're happy and you know it---I kid, I kid.
An odd hobo like woman with extremely terrible makeup creeps up behind her, and starts singing creepily about the wonders. Then, Mme and this weird thing, who is named Fleck and is half-bird half-woman begi-0OMW!!! IS THAT NIAMH PERRY?!?! THE ABSOLUTELY AMAZING AND ADORABLE INNOCENT YOUNG GIRL FROM I'D DO ANYTHING?!? *flings to the ground in despair* They...ruined...her....*faints*
~*~an hour later~*~
*lays in bed recovering*
Yes yes, anyways...we are magically transported back to a time where the depressing stuff is now happy cheerful stuff! Freaks and trapezes and more freaks, OH MY! I guess we're supposed to be excited by this...I mean, LOOK! Trapeze artists...flying people...magic...amazing colors...all set to the tune of an extremely depressing song that is extremely reminiscent of the background music in the 2004 movie when Mme explains the Phantom's past.
Speaking of which, why the &!^@ would the Phantom go back to being a circus freak after all those years of torture? See, this is why I feel like he's narcissic. He probably likes the pain he inflicts on himself. Why else would you leave the woman you love, who loves you, especially after a night of mind blowing se--*shushes*
Anywhoo...I'm truly feeling depressed now, this song bores me...my finger is on the skip button...middle finger, mind you and BOOM! We get to an accusation! " "That's the place you ruined you fool!" shrieks Niamh in a breathy, two year old voice that I never knew she could utter. Once again, I can only hold my head in shame for her.
Madame stammers and flips and...we are magically transported back in time. Again. That's twice in 10 minutes. Maybe Sir Andy's getting so old that he can't remember what century we're in? I mean, it's common knowledge that we've been getting it wrong for years, since it's only 10 years from 1881 to 1907. Ms. Crain, this is why I got a D on the last math test. Blame Phantom of the Opera.
We see...extremely annoying Americans freaking out over EVERY. SINGLE. THING. "You won't believe, if you see it...a little slice of heaven by the sea!" This reminds me of 42nd Street, Thank Goodness from Wicked, any peppy, excited, annoying, shrilly, typical musical theatre garbage that is ever present. The best part..."And the master...wears a MASK! What's behind it, what's behind it, what's behind it?" There is an elephant behind the mask, and all you wonderful Americans, that's a aquarium inside the theatre. Geez, what'd you expect, a face and a stage? That's old fashioned. Got lost in the time warp.
So...it's been about 10 minutes and my jaw has already aching from it's state of constantly dropping ness. Rachelle would be so proud to see how relaxed my tongue is. If I knew how slack my face would be from seeing LND, I should have just listened to it during solo ensemble.
I'm not impressed, have a headache, and my heart sobs for Niamh Perry's lost talent. Plus, Madame Giry's increasingly thick french accent gives me the shivers. Love Never Dies. Is a tragedy to my soul. And then...the Phantom comes out...and everything changes...
P.S. Comment/PM me if you are actually interested, and find me on facebook :-)
Thanks for reading and I'll have part 2 up in just a little bit... Until next time... *poofs into Noodleland to be with Ramin, and the aspirin*
http://www.facebook.com/Jessicakey
So...here we go. LOVE NEVER DIES, the extremely controversial and highly disputed sequel to Andrew Lloyd Webber's Phantom of the Opera. Which will never, ever, ever get a review as there is no words to describe POTO. There is just a *thud*, and after that, there is a *runs off quickly to piano to pretend to be Christine Daae. Or...the Phantom*.
Anyways... Disclaimer: I have not watched it in its whole. I have seen bits and pieces from the proshot, and chunks from illegal recordings (shh) and...other...stuff. I also have the whole album. It looks as though Sir Andy hates listening to people talk...which I must admit gets grating sometimes, and just has everyone singing everything. It doesn't matter if you're talking, singing, laughing, crying, peeing, sleeping, dancing, dying, you're just going to sing. But then again, they all sound the same when they sing. I mean...Mme Giry is the only one with a French accent...Christine's got an American accents...and Lord knows what accent the Phantom's got. Some sort of Canadian-Iranian-English-American-French thing going on. I recommend he adds some Chinese in there, to make the grandparents happy. My grandparents. Not his.
Anyways, the The show opens with an extremely depressed Madame Giry in pretty much black and white--as black and white as you can get onstage--strolling along a depressed deserted amusement part, talking depressedly about the depressing things that have befallen the depressed ruins she now depressedly stands in front of. And...we are off to a happy start! Everyone sing with me! If you're happy and you know it---I kid, I kid.
An odd hobo like woman with extremely terrible makeup creeps up behind her, and starts singing creepily about the wonders. Then, Mme and this weird thing, who is named Fleck and is half-bird half-woman begi-0OMW!!! IS THAT NIAMH PERRY?!?! THE ABSOLUTELY AMAZING AND ADORABLE INNOCENT YOUNG GIRL FROM I'D DO ANYTHING?!? *flings to the ground in despair* They...ruined...her....*faints*
~*~an hour later~*~
*lays in bed recovering*
Yes yes, anyways...we are magically transported back to a time where the depressing stuff is now happy cheerful stuff! Freaks and trapezes and more freaks, OH MY! I guess we're supposed to be excited by this...I mean, LOOK! Trapeze artists...flying people...magic...amazing colors...all set to the tune of an extremely depressing song that is extremely reminiscent of the background music in the 2004 movie when Mme explains the Phantom's past.
Speaking of which, why the &!^@ would the Phantom go back to being a circus freak after all those years of torture? See, this is why I feel like he's narcissic. He probably likes the pain he inflicts on himself. Why else would you leave the woman you love, who loves you, especially after a night of mind blowing se--*shushes*
Anywhoo...I'm truly feeling depressed now, this song bores me...my finger is on the skip button...middle finger, mind you and BOOM! We get to an accusation! " "That's the place you ruined you fool!" shrieks Niamh in a breathy, two year old voice that I never knew she could utter. Once again, I can only hold my head in shame for her.
Madame stammers and flips and...we are magically transported back in time. Again. That's twice in 10 minutes. Maybe Sir Andy's getting so old that he can't remember what century we're in? I mean, it's common knowledge that we've been getting it wrong for years, since it's only 10 years from 1881 to 1907. Ms. Crain, this is why I got a D on the last math test. Blame Phantom of the Opera.
We see...extremely annoying Americans freaking out over EVERY. SINGLE. THING. "You won't believe, if you see it...a little slice of heaven by the sea!" This reminds me of 42nd Street, Thank Goodness from Wicked, any peppy, excited, annoying, shrilly, typical musical theatre garbage that is ever present. The best part..."And the master...wears a MASK! What's behind it, what's behind it, what's behind it?" There is an elephant behind the mask, and all you wonderful Americans, that's a aquarium inside the theatre. Geez, what'd you expect, a face and a stage? That's old fashioned. Got lost in the time warp.
So...it's been about 10 minutes and my jaw has already aching from it's state of constantly dropping ness. Rachelle would be so proud to see how relaxed my tongue is. If I knew how slack my face would be from seeing LND, I should have just listened to it during solo ensemble.
I'm not impressed, have a headache, and my heart sobs for Niamh Perry's lost talent. Plus, Madame Giry's increasingly thick french accent gives me the shivers. Love Never Dies. Is a tragedy to my soul. And then...the Phantom comes out...and everything changes...
P.S. Comment/PM me if you are actually interested, and find me on facebook :-)
Thanks for reading and I'll have part 2 up in just a little bit... Until next time... *poofs into Noodleland to be with Ramin, and the aspirin*
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